b (2006/10/31 23:14:14): btw..mlm cucuk sate..the only reason aku tolak kau masa ko tgh tulis mesej to s****
b (2006/10/31 23:14:26): sbb aku ingt kau tulis pasal aku
i*** (2006/10/31 23:14:41): haha
i*** (2006/10/31 23:14:42): mane ade
b (2006/10/31 23:14:44): aku tgk ko tulis le..je..i freaked out
i*** (2006/10/31 23:14:50): rahsie ko ade lg dlm poket aku
b (2006/10/31 23:14:53): ko tulis lembap kan
b (2006/10/31 23:15:04): wat rahsia?
i*** (2006/10/31 23:15:08): aa
i*** (2006/10/31 23:15:09): haha
b (2006/10/31 23:15:14): ciggy?
b (2006/10/31 23:15:42): o aku geram dia xde reaction aku msk?
i*** (2006/10/31 23:16:25): haha
b (2006/10/31 23:17:04): mlm cucuk sate..aku msk smbal udang..a lil bit pedas
b (2006/10/31 23:17:29): pastu tgh mkn dh soksek..menghabiskan setengah kotak tisu
i*** (2006/10/31 23:17:45): oo
i*** (2006/10/31 23:17:53): kul bape
b (2006/10/31 23:18:01): seblom g kaikan
i*** (2006/10/31 23:18:03): la nape aku ko xajak
i*** (2006/10/31 23:18:07): siot
b (2006/10/31 23:18:16): dia blk kul 9..pastu aku g kaikan
b (2006/10/31 23:19:01): td aku teserempak ngan dia kt skolah..dia wat nmpk x nmpk je..im upset
i*** (2006/10/31 23:19:36): la bbese la
i*** (2006/10/31 23:19:37): bese
b (2006/10/31 23:19:38): geram
i*** (2006/10/31 23:19:46): dgn aku pun die wat xnampak
i*** (2006/10/31 23:19:48): cet
b (2006/10/31 23:19:49): yeke
i*** (2006/10/31 23:19:53): tu pun nak terase
b (2006/10/31 23:19:53): benci betul la
b (2006/10/31 23:20:19): org lain tego2 jugak..a*** i**** pun tego..atleast smile or angkt tgn or nod
b (2006/10/31 23:20:26): dia wat cam x wujud je
b (2006/10/31 23:20:32): geram gilerrr
b (2006/10/31 23:20:57): kejap warm kejap cold..x paham..cepat berubah2
b (2006/10/31 23:21:39): i dont even know why i cared so much..ergh
i*** (2006/10/31 23:22:11): ntah2 ko syok kat die kot
i*** (2006/10/31 23:22:15): bahaye dowh
b (2006/10/31 23:22:18): haha
b (2006/10/31 23:22:27): what r u implying?
i*** (2006/10/31 23:23:16): haha
i*** (2006/10/31 23:23:18): ntah
b (2006/10/31 23:23:24): sape suke org camtu...heartless coldstone xde perasaaan

so now i*** kinda get it.all the reason i kept telling him about him.i'm sorry i***.i lied.i do like him.i do love him.so wat i did after ended the YM..smoke a ciggy.talked to mr.khambeng.went to shower.sleep.YES..i do smoke..occasionally..like once in every million years.i prefer to call myself as EMOTIONAL SMOKER.i smoke when i feel bad..or upset..or tense.it's bad.i know.i will stop.so stop bickering frens.i dont wanna kill u all.hik.

well today..i accidently ran into him.not actually.i saw he coming.i hurriedly went to hid myself.i cant met him.eventho i always ready(full make-up and decent clothed etc..)but usually we tell each other 1st if we gonna meet.kinda..for mental preparation.but what the hell..i embrace myself and walked towards him.

teserempak ngan dia harini sbb nk bagi benda kt en. khambeng.and i was early.dia wat nmpk x nmpk je tau.geram.well i was listening to my iPod masa tu.well i stop infront of him..handed him the envelope meant for en.khambeng.barely exchange words..xcept 'bagi kat en.khambeng'.agaknya dia nak lekas2 ke kelas kot..the class will start in 10 min when i met him.i just felt upset dia wat cam nmpk x nmpk.atleast say hi.oke..it would be awkward.maybe dia just suprised..and not ready.i have to confess..my heart pounded everytime i see him.everytime i heard his car parking outside the apartment.everytime i heard his voice on the phone.everytime i know i gonna met him.sometime i had to stop chopping veggies when he was around...my hand just shook.

shud i call him and confront why he acted that way when we met tadi.

i'm 24 yrs-old 36 hrs..GOD i'm ancient.thanx to those who wished.going to replace my cell phone..but can't decide which to choose.help me choose ok.

this....

or this one

Selamat Hari Raya to all.tahun ni raya ke-5 beraya tanpa famili disisi.macam tahun2 sebelum..selepas mandi call umah..ucap selamat raya & bermaafan sesama adik badek,mak & abah.selalu nye kitorg akan beratur dari yg plg bongsu sampai abah.then bermula dr adik yg bongsu akan mula dulu salam mintak ampun maaf dari abang kakak then mak abah.so yg kecik la akan mintak maaf ngan yg tua.tapi sebab beraya dalam phone je..so x ikut turutan..sape yg dh ready yg mula dulu.tapi selalunya beraya ngan abah & mak last sekali.i never shed tears all this years.tabahkan i.

harini buat open house..masak rendang ayam & daging,nasi impit kuah kacang,bihun sup,nasi ujan panas,lasagna & choccake(for him...tp dia x makan pun td.dia senyum je bila ckp 'tanak coklat kek ke'..dia kata kenyang.dia soh bwk mlm nnti bila mkn2 kt umah junior 2nd year).meriah jugak tahun ni..actually this is the 1st open house.x penah wat open house seblom ni.thn ni last beraya ngan junior2..last with him too..so saja wat something to remember with.dia dtg lamabt sikit sebab byk kelas.dia dtg last td..sorg2.around 315 till 345.tegesa-gesa makan gak.suka tgk dia makan.kadang2 wonder..besar nye perut dia.tp harini dia mkn sikit je.nk keja kelas pastu nasi pun tggal skit je.offer dia bihun sup..dia tanak..x suke sgt bihun sup.mkn lasagna je pas mkn nasi.ngan 2 ketul konflek madu.before balik sempat salam..kejap je.dh tegesa-gesa sgt nk g klas..nak keja seat.i wish he stayed a bit longer and we could have a proper salam thing.i miss u.

p/s:matila jiwang di hari raya.

jalan-jalan.jumpa.murah.beli...kiut.hik.

"

we all have our reasons for rewriting history.sometimes we need to provide ourselves alibies.sometimes we want to hurt someone who has hurt us.and then there were times we just want to spare ourselves embarrassment.ofcorse there are some who feel to rewrite history is just another way to lie.but what is history anyway..but a set of lies..agreed upon.

MAVO

baru lepas sahur ngan dia n en.khambeng.dia cam biasa makan byk gak.walopun bebuka dah mkn nasi ayam ngan cucur udang ngan pengat ngan buah ngan kuih sume..tapi ttp mkn byk.sayanglah ngan dia.sebbaik food tadi x pedas sgt..menu harini sume ada cili.dia xleh mkn pedas sgt..kang mula la berair hidung.tapi dia cakap dia suka pedas.hik.GOD..i love that man so soooo much.everytime i see his face.GOD..i just love him.i wanna be the best i can with him....i wanna be with him.i love him too much.

p/s:adeke soh makan limau tetiap hari.monyet pun bleh gile tau makan limau tetiap hari.hik.(he saw me taking vit.C and B Complex from Nature Made).

opss seblom terlupa.i dapat kad raya from Diddy AF4.

"

baru lepas sahur ngan dia n en.khambeng.sebbaik x pedas sgt..menu harini sume ada cili.dia xleh mkn pedas sgt..kang mula la berair hidung.tapi dia cakap dia suka pedas.hik.GOD..i love that man so soooo much.everytime i see his face.GOD..i just love him.i wanna be the best i can with him....i wanna be with him.i love him too much.

p/s:adeke soh makan limau tetiap hari.monyet pun bleh gile tau makan limau tetiap hari.hik.

harini ada majlis bebuka kat umah Suhaidi&K.Ina.menu nasi ayam,pengat ubi&pisang,cucur udang,kek marble & buah melaka(i made that).sbb k.ina ada anak & husband dia busy ngan study so i pegi la tolong dia masak.kul 1 lebeh husband dia dtg jemput kat umah.k.ina dah masak most of the menu.takut x sempat katanya.i pegi tolong dia goreng ayam,masak nasi,goreng cucur,buat kek & buah melaka je.tapi sempat2 je siap before bebuka.biasalakan..buat keje sambil pot pet pot pet..kitorg x ngumpat yer.kitorg becerita sajer.hik.

pagi ni ajak dia sahur lagi.kul 1 karang baru setat masak kot.by the time dia sampai dah masak.pastu bleh merenggek soh dia tolong skit.hik.menu dah pilih..daging masak merah yg dia soh wat last week.ketam masak lemak cilipadi.kangkung goreng ikan bilis tumbuk.telor masin.i suke sgt masak telor kan bila dia dtg.pasai pa tatau...hik.adela sebabnye..walopun due2 tak suke telor rebus.kolestrol katanya.

hari ni mak balik awal.kul 1 mak dah balik dari skolah.hari jumaat biasanya lepas je final year project weekly discussion mak akan ke library cari bahan for assignment kalo ade.kalo xde..tetap ke lib baca childrens book.yes kat lib skolah mak ade childrens book.actually tu buku for foreign student yg baru nak belaja japanese.oleh sebab sensei mak kena jaga 3rd year student's experiment..so bole la rilek2...surf intenet bagai tanpa cuak2 mana tau tetiba dia dtg.tapi mak mmg selamba je surf intenet kalo dia dtg pun.sambil kaver2 ngan experimental data.keji kannn.

harini mak bebuka bersama junior 1st year.slalu nya tetiap ramadan mak akan ajak semua Melayu kat sini dtg bebuka ikut turn.rumah mak kecik..x muat nak ajak semua sekaligus.biasanya mak akan jemput ikot batch.tapi tahun ni mak rasa 2nd year and junior mak..mak x jemput kot.alasan thn2 lepas dah jemput katanya.pastu tahun ni mak kerap ajak dia ngan en.khambeng dtg...sahur dan bebuka.

mak buat puding karamel lagi tadi.pastu mrs.zachary soh mak uplod gamba puding karamel tuh..so here it is.mak bagi resepi skali kat sini yer.

Puding Karamel

1. Buat gula hangus--masak 2 senduk gula sampai semua cair dan berwarna golden brown.pastu masukkan 1/2 cawan air.masak sampai agak likat atau sampai campuran mendidih.tuangkan dalam loyang.
2. pukul 3 biji telur (yang dibiarkan pada suhu bilik terlebih dahulu) sampai kembang.masukkan 2 senduk gula+suduteh esen vanilla+1suduteh perasa pandan(optional--xde takpe)+300ml susu segar/cair+100ml krim putar(yang belom diputar--jangan ko pakai krim yg dah diputar stiff nak decorate kek tu pulak).pukul sampai gula larut sepenuhnya.
3. tuangkan campuran susu ke dalam loyang.masukkan loyang ke dalam loyang yg lebih besar atau letak atas dulang oven.masukkan secawan air panas kedalam loyang besar atau dulang oven.bakar pada 160C selama 1jam.
4. bila dah masak.kuarkan dari oven.biarkan pada suhu bilik kemdian masukkan dalam petiais.bila nak menghidang terbalikkan loyang ke dalam pinggan.sebelom terbalikkan tu..korg cucuk2 la sikit sekeliling puding dgn pisau tadi supaya senang keluar.

today my lab mate,mori told me i had a versatile hairstyle.yeah..i wear my hair differently almost everyday.maybe i shud take my photo everyday like some crazy guy did it on youtube.hahah.it took 5-10 minutes for hair alone each day.aneway...almost bought a pair of shoes today..dang! if they had red in 23.0-23.5 i think i would have bought them.its fall and my shopping list just rolled out of nowhere....

1. boots--darkbrown/lightbro wn
2. skinny jeans/pants
3. jacket--black/brown
4. cashmere shawl in darkgrey
5. bourjois eye tint---golden green

went golfing today from 930-1200.it was fun.but a lil bit penat.well im still puase..while others were happily drinking their green tea.then i had a 2 hour class till 5.bebuka on the road je ngan jus oren.sedeh.balik umah then baru masak.

love to go golfing again.those lab members love it..so i guess we r going again...before the cold winter arrive.errkk...could i tee-off with a riding boots..and mink cape?wow it's gonna be so Dolce&Gabbana Fall on the 18holes golf course.it's gonna be fun.make that cape to cashmere pashmina instead...im not a mink killer.

p/s:the golf course 1300yards long.all the bebukit and tasik..and my score was average with those perfectly healthy men who ate breakfast(i just assumed that..lol) and drank lots of juice.so i guess im pretty good heh..for a 1st timer.hik

we all carry something with us.ofcourse it's nicer if we travel with someone.who can help lighten the load.but usually it's easier to just drop what we've been carrying.so we can get home...that much sooner.assuming ofcourse they would be someone to greet us when we arrive.why do we clucth this baggage even when we are desperate to move on.because we all know there is a chance we might let go too soon.

MAVO

Desperate Housewives

John ended it with Gaby...for good.Gaby is all alone.i know now that feeling.there might be a chance we'll be happy...but it was taken from us.we end up alone and misserable.

called mrs.zachary..we know each other for quite a time...6 and half years to be exact but never had a voice to voice..i meant like frens.we were in different class back then at UM.and her place is like hujung dunia...jauh.but i went there once to meet my besfren who was her housemate.but didnt met her..she had a singing competition.

about 2-3 months before she contacted me via YM.we both on job hunting at that time so..any news were crucial.we found out we had the same interest:MAKEUP.we can go hours talking about the latest product or beauty regimes.i really hope we could meet sometime.well we both gonna stay foa atleast 1 more year.but longer for her.so i guess we could meet in the future when she move nearer.

went to Yus&Bard for bebuka.made chocolate moist cake and pasembor or rojak mamak for moreh.1st attemp on the pasembor.like it..but x sesedap pasembor from pasarmalam near my house kt kampung la.yerla..1st time and i made it myself oke.im a sucker for pasembor and roti canai.i eat pasembor for dinner on pasarmalam night everytime im at my folks.

too bad kat sini susah-nak-jumpa/xde senkuang so rasa cam something missing.plus i x masuk to'qua(tauhu goreng)..malas nk kua umah beli td.so masuk ape yg ade je.maybe nak wat lagi sometime soon.

btw Yus&Bard cooked nasi with tandoori and sup ayam + macaroni-coleslaw salad.yummy.eventho i x makan byk.i dont eat much in public.lagi ramai org ade lagi skit makan.patutla keding kan.

i love my choccakeman.did i tell u..dia mmg suke choccake.oke then..

what happened?

woke up at 9-managed to continue sleeping till 11.read Utusan.around 12 got an email from him.we're going shopping at 130..groceries.im cooking dinner for him tonight.300 done shopping.330 start cooking.managed to cut my finger.bleed.a little.cooked nasi hujan panas,lamb kurma,veggies curry and ayam percik.ate a little.they finished the nasi.overall i dont like it-not perfect.the lamb was a lil bit liat.going to cook again next week.maybe for sahur.told him about it..dinner/supper every saturday till the end of Ramadhan.he said insyaAllah.strange..he never said that before.(told him over YM around 10pm?)

went to teraweh after dinner.cooked mee goreng malas...(i didnt have the mood to cook after dinner).back from teraweh.felt something..missing & lonely.called Aineen.it's been a while.last talking to her when in kampung last 2 months.she's great.the phone calls lasted for about 1 hour.gosipped about pepel we know.about her bitchy/bossy bos.about how i want home.did not told her about him.we never talked about boys before when she was around.shud i tell her.it's too complicated..less pepel know the better.but she is one of my best buddies.maybe i tell her..when it's over.who knows?

England-FYR Macedonia on Ch.721 Skyperfect.glanced every few minutes.it's still nil to nil.kamon la England.

hari ni balik dari skolah awal giler..kul 415.2 jam seblom tu lepak kt lib..kunun2 nak cari bahan utk assignment..tapi half of the time i tedo or berangan.hik.neway assignment tu pun sengah siap so bleh rilek nextweek.hari ni bebuka kat umah kak ina & bro. suhaidi.diorg baru pindah so ajak ke rumah kalo free.so berpandukan SMS panduan ke rumah diorg..i pun bejalan ke sana.jauh gakk.sempat telan sebiji kuih Buah Melaka Labu yg i buat seblom ke sana.kak ina masak sambal sotong ngan sayur kobis goreng.then pastu kitorg ke Jusco utk beli brg skit.and i beli Doritos perisa Avocado.i love doritos sooo much.too bad the one with Taco flavor xleh makan.kat Jusco tu ada KFC..bila lalu je sebelah..trus rasa terawang-awangdek bau ayam KFC tuh.kan bes kalo mcm kt France KFC HALALLLL.*matila teringin sgt KFC.pastu kt SyokTV ada iklan KFC yg kelaka and ayam tu nampak sooo tasty.chetttttttttttttt.someone please send me those chickennnnn.btw esok nak wat Ayam Percik..mintak2 jadi dan xde komplen from En.Khambeng and him...daaaa(nak tgk Ugly Betty.....lawak cam siallll)

dah 2 hari beturut-turut terbabas sahur.yerla kul 1.30am baru nak tedo pastu feeling2 nak bgn kul 4 sahur katanya.sasah la terbabas kan.pastu kul 1130am perot dah nyanyi lagu keroncong.haiyaaaa.tapi i tetap puase uolss.

pc skolah blom ok lagi.dah format 10 kali pun taleh.polisi skolah..satu pc satu software.matila nak kayakan microsoft katanya.xbleh men copy copy dah.it turn out ygg mebbe hardisk rosak so pc tu taleh guna.i was like WHATTTTT.kena la pasni aku guna pc orang len tuk wat keje kan.taleh la berchatting bagai.bosannnnnnn.

past 2 days i emotionally unwell but now im okay.i think too much.thanks guys..u helped alot.i need u guys.at a time yesterday while standing at the 3rd floor balcony of system engineering dept..i imagined me climbing the walls and JUMP..just to feel if it hurts more than it hurts now(at that time la ye..im okay now).no guys im not suicidal..i love me more than i love anyone else..hehhehe.u know that's not true.i love everyone else as i love myself.i love u guys.

she:tapi kau blom bgtau dia.blom cuba blom tau.lagi lama pendam..kau akan lebih menderita.ko x rasa dah terlambat ke?

he:takde jalan klua.bgtau tau dia hanya lah satu-satunya jalan utk redakan masalah.bgtau dia ..get rejected then move on.

me:i will next year.aku tau lambat.aku x dpt pk/tanak pk sbb if things dont go well i will go un-well.it gonna hit me bad.and this is a crucial point in my life.i need distraction from him.

have you met the perfect couple.the two soulmates who's love never dies.the two lovers who's relationship in never threathen.the husband & wife who trust each other completely.f you havent met the perfect couple,let me introduce you.they stand on the top layer of butter cream frosting.the secret of their success..well,for starters..they dont have to look at each other.

p/s:thanx MAVO.i will try not to look at him.