i had a thought today.actually it's been in my head like forever.last two week on my way back home from Tokyo.a woman and a child sat next to me in the shinkansen.the child was a beautiful kid age around 3-4 yrs old with bright amber eyes and blond hair.a very beautiful kid.you can't never tell his mother is a Japanese.because in my eyes there was no Asian trait in his feature.(i just assumed the Japanese woman accompanied him was his mother.)ooking at the kid made me remember a talk i had months before with a friend.

She:i want kid but i don't want to get married.if getting married is not to him.

a man she's been dating for 3 yrs broke up with her.and it took her 2 yrs to calm down and even now she is still not over it.broke-up are painful..but for her it's hell.they still met once in a while for lunch or dinner.

back to the kids talk we had.i wanted to say to her:why dont u just find the finest man in the room..get yourself knock up and 9 mnths later..u with a beautiful child.

but that's not as simple as it seem.if you have to have a child, you want to have a child with the one,with the love of your life who you will remember and cherish till the end of your life.a child that whenever you look at him you'll remember the eyes,the nose,the lips of his father.a child that when he laugh or cry or get angry make you remember those memories you had with his father.a child when you sit at the corner of the field watching his football practise make you remember his father too used to play football and remember you cried your heart out cheering...even just in your heart.

unfortunately having a child with the love of their life is not everyone's priviledge.those who are with child.you are luckier than who spend or who will spent their life alone without the living memories of their love life.becoz memories will fade.for me...if you can't be with him.just being with a part of him is everything.

me:having a child is not an option